This is my piece of work below:
EXT.STREET-NIGHT
AVERY stands on the street. She has just come out of a nightclub and is teetering about on her too high heels. She is wearing a tight black dress, a bottle in one hand and a cigarette in the other hand. She gives a New York cab whistle then staggers; the effort exhausts her. A yellow taxi speeds down the street and stops next to the pavement AVERY is staggering about on.Slurring her words so much they are barely incomprehensible, she says:
AVERY
(Heavily slurred and in an American Accent)Hey driver, you headin’ to 28th Brooklyn Avenue?
TAXI DRIVER
(In a British Accent) Sure thing. Get in.
AVERY
(Still slurring her words)Your voice sounds funny. D’you have a cold or somethin’?
TAXI DRIVER
(Offended and Coldly) No.
AVERY
(Irritated) Don’t get in a huff with me old man. You don’t know who you’re messin’ with!
TAXI DRIVER
(Contemplating) I’m messing with an incredibly drunk girl who looks like a drug addict who needs to go to rehab.
AVERY
(Incredibly offended) How dare you!!! (Voice rising up an octave) I’ll have you know I’m not a drug addict!!
As she says this she raises the hand containing the bottle and some of the drink spills.
AVERY
(Continuing with her rant) I just happened to have some fun with is a foreign word to you old man. (Rolling her eyes)God, you British need to lighten up! You’re in America now. The state which is made of fun.
TAXI DRIVER
(Raising an eyebrow) Get in the car before you embarass yourself. (Muttering) Stupid American.
AVERY is still standing on the street and is on the verge of falling because she’s drunk and is wearing her too high heels.
AVERY
(Shouting) What did you just call me?!!!
TAXI DRIVER
(Exasperated) I didn’t call you anything. I said I feel sorry for your parents. (Steely) Now get in the stupid car before you trip over your too high heels and land on your backside.
AVERY starts to get into the taxi but the TAXI DRIVER says:
TAXI DRIVER
(Emotionless) Drop the cigarette.
The TAXI DRIVER turns to face the wheel. AVERY mutters a string of foul language but drops the cigarette then clambers into the taxi. Her pride has been wounded so she sulks in the back of the car. The car starts driving. After a few minutes AVERY puts her hand to her mouth.
AVERY
(Muffled) I think i’m gonna be sick.
Quick as a flash the TAXI DRIVER keeps one hand on the steering wheel but uses the other hand to pass AVERY a bag which she immediately starts vomiting into. The TAXI DRIVER stares straight ahead but rolls down the windows to let the lingering stench of alchohol out. AVERY stops hurling and leans back with a sigh of relief.
AVERY
(Grudgingly) Thanks.
TAXI DRIVER
(Also in a grudging tone) You’re welcome.
AVERY and the TAXI DRIVER sit in silence for a few minutes. The TAXI DRIVER continues driving. All of a sudden AVERY sits bolt upright in the back of the taxi.
AVERY
(Alert) Hey, where you goin’?! You’re goin’ the wrong way!! That’s not 28th Brooklyn Avenue!!!(Panicking) Where are you takin’ me?!!! (She bangs on the windows in hysterics)Help! Somebody help me! I’m being kidnapped by a crazy British guy!!
TAXI DRIVER
(Annoyed and angry) Will you shut up? One, I’m not crazy and Two, I’m not kidnapping you.
AVERY
(Still hysterical but no longer banging on the windows) You are taking me somewhere against my own free will which can therefore be classified as kidnapping.
TAXI DRIVER
(Rolling his eyes)I repeat. I’m not kidnapping you because I’m taking you home to England.
AVERY stares at the TAXI DRIVER, dumbfounded. After 5 seconds she starts laughing.
AVERY
(In between laughs)And I used to think you British had no sense of humour.I think you’re the one who’s drunk and I’m sober. England? My home? (Bursting into more squeals of laughter) You’ve got to be kidding me.
TAXI DRIVER
(Frowning)As a matter of fact, I’m not kidding. I’m taking you home, Your Majesty.
AVERY stops laughing and stares at the TAXI DRIVER.
AVERY
(Stammering) D-d-did you just call me y-y-your majesty?
TAXI DRIVER
(Looking at her through the rearview mirror)Yes I certainly did. I’ll explain everything to you when we get on the plane travelling to England.
The TAXI DRIVER looks at AVERY again through the rearview mirror.
TAXI DRIVER
(Smiling) Then we can get you something decent to wear. (Chuckling) Boy will your parents be surprised.
AVERY
(Shocked) My parents are dead.
TAXI DRIVER
(Guilty) That was what we had to make you think. But now you are going to find out the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
AVERY stares at the TAXI DRIVER through the rearview mirror with her mouth hanging open. The TAXI DRIVER stares at her expression with amusement and continues driving.
END OF SCENE.
Great script. You have used the correct formatting. You have used the right indents to show the difference between the action and the dialogue. All character names have been written in capitals and there are directions for the characters in brackets.
ReplyDeleteYour slug lines are correct - showing where and when the action occurs.
Do you think you could do anything to make this better?
Distinction
Mr Monahan
Thank You for your comments and I completely agree with you but I don't know what I could do to make this better apart from adding more tension and improving the story line.
ReplyDelete